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Drunk-Walk in the Dead of Winter Drunk level = sober Basically the night started just like any other friday night, Nelson, Spencer Crystal and I decided to get some booze, and get plastered. We went to the LC (Liqour Comission) and picked up a bottle of Rye, a bottle of vodka and (at Spencers request) a bottle of dirt cheap Champagne... This was the same night as the Tale "Why Spencer is called Sir Barfmaster". We began drinking.. Fast-forward two hours... Still drinking Drunk level = far past buzzed and looking to crank it up from doubles to triples Fast-forward another hour... Drunk level = Triples are not strong enough, lose count of how many drinks I've had, but know that I haven't had enough. We move locations from Nelson's basement to one of Nelsons old work buddies places.. Drunk level = I realize that having finished both bottles of booze, the only bottle left is the shitty champagne, Spencer is hogging it, and I realize that I will have to trick him or kill him to get it. I decide tricking him is the easiest and use some lame excuse to take the bottle away, something about me paying for part of the booze, it works success!! We decide to continue drinking, but at a bar. By this point I realize that our drinking group has multiplied and we are now a posse of around six. Some of the others suggest hitting the ZOO, where 2 Live Crew is performing. We somehow get to the zoo, but there is a ten dollar cover, far too steep, so we head to the basement drinking complex called Ozzy's. This is by far one of the best places to go drinking when you are already drunk. The place was deserted besides others who were too cheap to pay cover up-stairs.. So basically there was a half dozen. For some reason there was a stripper. We sat got some booze and kept drinking.. About two secondes later Spencer decided to visit his car, where he filled every nook and cranny of his 'Barf-mobile' with vile stomach acid and partially digested food. Spencer = K.O Drunk level = By this point my eyes are going in and out of focus, and time seems to be standing still but going extremely fast at the same time.. I was talking to Crystal, and obviously I say something to offend her, so while trying to console her, some trashy broad starts chatting with us, well actually, mostly ignoring me and focusing on chatting Crystal up. I head back to drinking and decide that its shooter time... I walk over to Nelson and say " Nelson... buddy...we need to drink..M..More.. Sh.. sh.. shooter time!" We walk over to the bar and Nelson, being least drunk, overs a round of Jack.. I pay...down they go... Nelson orders again.. this time I say "weeee should git somfthin fancy.." My head is spinning. The bartender is a twenty something girl, she can see that I am a walking car wreak, but gets us more shots because there is nothing else going on. "whats the fancier-est shooter in this place" I ask. She replies something to do with maple Liquor.. I order them.. They were like taking a shot of maple syrup.. except sweeter. I want more, Nelson goes and sits down I get beer, and decide that I should set Nelson up with this bartender, being the good friend that I am.. I start trying to talk to this bartender. I do not remember what I said, but you can imaging that it was stupid. Drunk level = too drunk to realize that I am an ass The rest of this tale is written as I remember it.. In flashes Sitting at the table pounding booze.. wallet empty, drinking spencers drink that he abandoned.. Someone saying lets go upstairs.. looking around for my friends.. no one there.. picking up booze walking upstairs.. looking around can't see anyone.. decide that they will have to some up the stairs or go back down them at some point so I slump against the wall and continue drinking. I decided, in this drunken state that the rear fire exit, which is not ever used was the best location to look for my friends.. While standing their for fifteen minutes, no one passed by me, but this does not click in.. Drunk level = My body has decided to limit my motor skills to grunts, head nods and the ability to slurp down more toxic booze. Booze almost empty, I stumble down-stairs and past the bouncer.. He stops me and tells me that I am not allowed in with outside booze, I tell that I left with it and it wasn't a problem, so he better let me back in to finish it. He lets me in. I am standing in the bar. There is no one else. Bartender saying get out.. I start stumbling out the door. Outside I start doing laps of the parking lot but cannot remember what car we came by. Drunk level = My brain has focused all power to location of friends, having failed that, it is time to sleep. I start stumbling through Osborne village in a zigzag motion. I am wearing a t-shirt and a light jacket, no gloves and a VIA-rail trucker cap that somehow came into my possession during the night. There is 3 feet of snow on the ground. It is -25 degrees Celcius outside. In a matter of minutes my face hands and feet are cold, but I trudge along, having no money for a taxi. I make it out of the village and am faced with a decision: continue walking on the sidewalk, where I might be seen by my friends, or take the adventurous way by following a bike path that runs between the river and buildings on the street. I start walking on the path, which has been used before, and had a six inch wide packed track, with deep soft snow on either side. I start off and make it six feet before stumbling off the packed snow and falling face first in the soft deep snow. I manage to get up on my feet and begin along the path. After three steps I stumble off the other side and plant my face in the snow. This continued, I'd walk six feet, fall down force myself up, keep walking for five or six feet, wipe out etc. I was completely full of snow, my hands were frozen and numb, and I was completely exhausted. The only thing that kept me going was making it home to call my friends and bitch them out about ditching me. With the renewed anger, my veins surged and I continued.. run for five feet, slip off path, wipe out, force myself on my feet, and continue another four feet. I somehow made it home. And called nelson, teeth still chattering and called him an asshole and passed out. From Ozzy's to my place it is 2-3 Km so maybe a 20-25 minute walk sober. I figure it took me 2-3 hours to make it home. I woke up covered it barf the next morning, but I was alive. EXTRA: The chick that was chatting with Crystal introduced her to another girlfriend, they began touching her and invited her for a three-some. She declined. 10 Apr 2005 by Steve 0 comments name: mail: (optional) smile:          Remember Me | Forget Me